Epiphany

There are weird things. There are unacceptable things that make me feel weird about illogical matters. There's this guy and he bothers me.

There's this guy, I wouldn't say a friend but we were quite inseparable for a time when it required us to be, and I am now so bitter about him. For a month now, I have been regretting everything we did together and the moments we shared. I thought I didn't know why. But then, just now, I realized the reason. He's the only guy I imagined myself getting married with. Several times I had dreamed of actualizing my life-long fantasy with him. Walking down the aisle, delivering adlib weddings vows and all. And so mamy times I convinced myself it was as it should be. So weird considering that we really don't have any sort of personal relationship.

So weird thinking that I secretly despise him for having different beliefs on love and on forever; curse him for belittling my wedding goals. He was not even the guy who would care about any of my sentiments. He was not even the kind of person I would want to care about me at all.

He was not even the one I was seriously obsessed with for the last year. I never even gave a thought about whatever we are to each other. I never really thought of him at all. But I saw myself marrying him someday. Something I never thought I would do with anyone I ever loved--considering that it IS the end goal. He stole my childhood and the life ahead of me.

He stole my heart without me even knowing and I'm still hurting.